Tired & Stupid

Waking up early this morning, I feel so stupid. Yes I am stupid but I also acted stupid! Started losing to my inner self. Seriously you have more 'inner work' to do Iynas!

Yes, I admit. I do get carried away most of the times now. Alhamdulillah I can feel it, so I can do something about it. If I didn't feel anything, then that's dangerous!

"...coming at this point, seriously I wish I have someone (to feel protected and be taken care of)"


"My protector, please step forward"


*these are my status in FB. Amended and deleted few times*


Ape sume nie? Such a desperado? Haha. Seriously I don't like this part of me.

What has triggered my stupid actions posting such status?

THIS:

Penyamun mati ditembak ketika cuba samun rumah anggota polis
28/09/2011 2:58am
Oleh ILAH HAFIZ AZIZ
KUALA LUMPUR 28 Sept. - Percubaan enam penyamun cuba merompak rumah seorang supritendan polis ternyata membawa padah apabila salah seorang daripada mereka ditembak mati di Medan Burhanuddin Helmi, Taman Tun Dr. Ismail, malam tadi.
Dalam kejadian pukul 9.30 malam itu, enam suspek terbabit cuba menyerang pegawai polis yang bertugas di Bukit Aman itu, di hadapan rumahnya ketika dia baru pulang dari makan malam.
Bagaimanapun, Ketua Jabatan Siasatan Jenayah Kuala Lumpur, Datuk Ku Chin Wah berkata, mangsa terlebih dahulu telah melihat enam suspek yang menaiki tiga buah motosikal sedang bersembunyi di kawasan berdekatan, dan menembak mati salah seorang daripada mereka apabila telah diserang dengan parang. - Utusan

Read carefully. Medan Burhanuddin Helmi. Yes! My house street! I saw the after-incident with my friend who send me home. Thankful there was a friend with me.

She was sending me home when there was a roadblock. Pastu ada yang polis gantung benda kuning macam dalam cite CSI tuh. Pastu ade orang keluar tengok ramai2. Saw a dead body on the street. Being busy body, (ye laa takleh lalu kan), we made a u-turn to the other side of my house area and ask the neighbours around who were looking to the incident as well. Cite punye cite, rupanya da ade orang nampak penyamun2 tu pernah sembunyi belakang pokok depan rumah orang nak usha2 dulu. Perghh cuak gile weyh dengar. Da laa lately aku selalu balik lambat. But thanks to my Bora-Bora friends, mmg adat dorang selalu tunggu orang yang dorang hantar masuk rumah. Cuma cam ada laa jugak aku yang drive hantar orang then balik rumah sorg2 tu, fuhh..nauzubillah..ALHAMDULILLAH xde pape jadi..Ok suddenly teringat kat one of my Bora-Bora friends, da dua kali aku drive sorang2 balik rumah tengah2 malam (or pagi?) then senyap2 rupanya dia ikut belakang escort aku dan tunggu aku sampai masuk rumah. So sweet of him :-) Alhamdulillah kawan sumenye caring2 belaka.

Balik tu aku da bersedia tahan telinga sbb mak aku baru sampai dari Kedah. Ntah2 dia dgr ape jadi.  Masuk rumah da get ready nak kena leter sebab selalu balik lambat dan berani sangat keluar malam. Tapi senyap je..apparently she didn't hear anything..YET..da masuk paper hari nie, siap dengan jiran2 cite lagi, siaplah aku malam nie. Perisai telinga dihidupkan!

So yeah, aku tak cite lagi ape kene-mengene dgn aku bertindak bodoh. Out of sudden, I feel like, "Please, I need someone to protect me! With what just happened, I need to be extra careful with myself and I am tired of taking care of myself! Cukup2 laa. Please God, please send me my protector.."

I know Allah is the Best Protector..but..do you know what I mean?

Again, I'm very THANKFUL to have those such caring friends. I love them. Bora-bora muah-muah.

For once, please let me mention this in here.

I AM TIRED. (Ok, sekali je k. Jgn mengeluh dah k.)

Thus, the status. And today, I feel stupid. And I want to redeem myself today.

Nonetheless, He is the Best Protector. To Him shall I seek protection..