I am in my evil state of emotion

Urgh!! Why? WHY???

Why must Dan fall into the trap of that ^%$*& Miss Carr?? Mmg nampak sgt laa Miss Carr tu suke kat Dan kan. Sampai nak jumpe kat coffee shop bagai walaupun da tau salah, buat jugak! Pastu sbenarnye die mesti happy kene fired coz now she can messed around with Dan!

And Dan?? Why must u??

I am so disappointed!!

I am at the evil side of me right now, and by saying that, i cannot stop myself from picturing who Miss Carr resembles to. The one who make Dan 'falls' for her.

Ala, Dan pun same jugak. I read reviews saying Dan is actually a hypocrite guy. I hate to admit but i think he is.

Chuck is very adorable when he is in his nice and caring mode. Syieq, can't agree with u more.

*Inilah padahnya bler terlalu emo melayan cite2 mcm nie. Waiting for episode 18. Anyone?

Fatinn v Iynas - Gossip Girl

Me and Fatinn, we did a quiz! It's a battle, well sort of, between me and Fatinn, sape dapat character ape and who is our boyfriend in our currently-watching tv series, GOSSIP GIRL!

Let's see whether we get what we want, hehe.

We did two quizzes.

1. "Which Gossip Girl Character are You?"
2. "Who is your Gossip Girl Boyfriend?"

The rules:
- Buat serentak
- Publish kat blog serentak
- Kene teka pihak satu lg dapat ape for both quizzes

So, saye memilih utk teka Fatinn punye dulu.

For 1st quiz, saye teka Fatinn ialah JENNY HUMPHREY!

For 2nd quiz, saye teka CHUCK BASS!

Hehe.

As if for me, these are the results that i got:

1st quiz:

Which Gossip Girl Character Are You?

More on Gossip Girl. Created by BuddyTV

2nd quiz:

Who is Your Gossip Girl Boyfriend?

More on Gossip Girl. Created by BuddyTV

I like the 1st one but i don't like the 2nd one. I am happy that i am Dan Humphrey but i'll be happier if my boyfriend is Dan Humphrey. After mase 1st question for the 2nd quiz tu, die tanye ciri2 and i remember i chose loyal as one of them. Nate, loyal? So not! Kejap nak Vanessa, kejap nak Jenny.

Dan Humphrey and Nate Archibald, couples? Eww~

Haha.

So fun! Jom Fatinn buat kuiz laen plak! :-P

From a friend to friends

A childhood friend of mine sent a message to me before i flew back to Welly:

"Wei, safe trip back to Welly..kirim salam kat member2 anda yg menjaga anda..etc etc"

So to the 'member2' stated above, u know who u are :-)

Hey the message sender, can i expose ur identity? Please please. After all we've been classmate since std 5 to form 5!

It is always nice hanging around with childhood friends, kan L***? Hehe.

Dan sebenarnya..i am not really okay

Dan Sebenarnya - Yuna

oh bulan
jangan layan diriku lagi
pabila,
air mata membasahi pipi
dan lagu2 di radio seolah2 memerli aku
pabila,
kau bersama yg lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku

ku enggan
berpura pura ku bahagia
ku enggan
melihat kau bersama si dia
oh ku akui cemburu
telah menular dalam diri
pabila
kau bersama yang lain

adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga merindui aku

pabila kau merenung matanya
ku rebah,
jatuh ke bumi
di saat kau benar-benar mahu pergi
seperti ku bernafas dalam air
adakah perasaaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyuman mu itu kau juga merindui aku
oh

I am okay

But i can't lie that i am not really okay

Come on, it was nearly 5 years

I had passed the state when i thought i was okay

And now i am haunted

Especially when i saw her profile on fb

Thinking..how on earth..?

I just have to accept that he is not meant and the one for me

There is no more hope and i don't have any left

Still, I need time

Please, bear with me with all these pathetic stuffs i am expressing

Coz i am not really okay

When i believe that i am okay

T: "U x rase seronok ke when someone cares about u and u have someone to care about when u're far from ur family?"

Me: "Xpe, i have my friends for me to care about and i know they care for me too. That is more than enough to keep me happy and i am thankful for it. They are my family here."

Why can't he be like Dan Humphrey?

The one who never gives up on his first love.

Coz he is not Dan Humphrey.

And I certainly am not Serena van der Woodsen.

Ade sorg budak nie

Sengih memanjang bler nampak aku pg nie.

Senyuman puas dan gembira, i guess.

Thanks.

Finally, the 1st post for March!

For 15 days i didn't write any post. Unbelievable. Seriously, this is the longest.

I was reorganizing myself. I still am and insya-Allah always will. As you can see, i changed the layout for this blog. Trying to keep it as simple as possible. Tp semakin lama aku godek2 itu ini, makin byk aku nak tambah itu ini dalam blog nie.

Hmm, da lame x tulis blog membuatkan aku lambat sket nak menghasilkan kata-kata. Pelbagai cerita sedang beratur, menolak-nolak ruang mindaku dan menunggu masa utk dikeluarkan dari kotak fikiranku tetapi kelembapanku menyudahkan ayat membatasinya. Apatah lg kesensitifan touchpad laptop baruku ini menambahkan kelembapan aku. Menyusahkan betul! Suke ati cursor die jer nak ke mane2. Aku perasan laptop baru2 sume mcm nie. Sensitip betul touchpadnya.

So, nak mula dari mane ek? Dari post hari tu ke? Erm, ok, i did meet him. But not on 'tomorrow' like it was supposed to be but the week after that. Sedikit sebanyak penangguhan itu membuatkan aku lebih bersedia.

Ouh, before that, did i tell u that i'm already in Wellington now? Yes! I am at my second home now. *Happy mode* Jgn salah faham, bukan aku x gembira di Malaysia. Beberapa org tanye aku seronok x balik Malaysia. Aku jawab, "Sape x seronok balik tempat asal?" Keseronokan di tanah air tiada tolok bandingnya. Aku lahir di situ. Aku membesar di situ. Aku belajar menjadi manusia berguna di situ.

Walau bagaimanapun, jgn terkejut kalau aku kate aku x kisah tinggal di Wellington utk beberapa tahun lg. Aku seronok di sini kerana aku spt dilahirkan semula di sini. Aku belajar menjadi manusia yg lebih berguna di sini. Dan spt yg pernah aku katakan sebelum ini, aku belajar membudakkan diri di sini, setelah puas aku disogok dgn pertanyaan "Keje kat mane?" di situ. Ouh lg satu, aku suke di sini sbb kulit muka aku sesuai dgn cuaca di sini. Muka aku susah ditumbuhi jerawat! Hehe. Kalau di situ bertompok-tompok jerawat kat muka aku yg senang berminyak nie. Tambah plak aku malas nak jaga muka aku betul2. Yea laa, tgk org laen x perlu bersusah-payah pun. Kenapa aku sebaliknya?

Ok, enough of that. Meh aku cite serba-sedikit aktiviti 2 minggu aku di situ:

• Balik kg ke Kedah selama 5 hari.
• Pergi Sarawak coz abg ipar aku dapat keje kat sane. Tlg kakak aku pindah umah. Adam pon kat sane gak. Nasib baik die sempat bermanja dgn aku. Haha. Harap2 kakak aku yg baru pregnant dapat control die. Sihat dan aktif sungguh! X dok diam langsung!
  

Adam Imran comel

Saat2 berpisah. Adam sedih jugak.

• Kesuntukan masa utk berjumpa rakan2. Tinggal 5 hari lg. Everyday aku kuar catch up dgn kawan2, termasuk dia. Even the last day tu pun aku sempat kuar bfast n last minute shopping lg coz flight aku mlm. Salah satu akibat last minute shopping ialah pembelian portable laptop desk yg tidak worth dgn harganya. Ape nak buat, hot stuff punye pasal dan aku pun nak sgt bende tu sampai sanggup amek yg display punye. Serve me right! Dgn bangganya aku mengaku kalau aku nak suatu bende tu, aku mmg x kesa dgn harga. Well, kalau mahal sgt kesa gak laa tp sipi2 jer. Haha.
• Sempat beli laptop baru 2 hari before balik sini. I considered it not a last minute shopping sbb aku berpuas hati dgn harganya. X rase mahal coz byk free gifts. Cume ralat sket coz aku tertinggal free cleaning kit mase nak balik. My bad coz x check betul2.

On the way balik sini alhamdulillah xde byk halangan cume satu jer mase kene check custom kat Christchurch. Memule pakcik syak ade sumthing mase x-ray pastu suro makcik nie check. Punye laa teliti gler. Satu2 die kuarkan dari beg aku termasuk handbag aku padahal mase tu aku ade connecting flight ke Welly dalam mase setengah jam! Yg mane die x puas hati die bawak g x-ray balik. Bayangkan betapa gelisah dan huru-haranya aku. Berkali-kali aku bgtau die tp die buat dek jer. Mase tu aku angin da. Aku dapat rasekan muke aku merah dek panas membara mase tuh. Hampir nangis jugak laa. Mane xnye, da penah ade pengalaman miss flight ok. Sungguh x nak berulang kembali. Mase tu aku da pk kalau laa aku tertinggal flight akan aku suro die byr balik! Nasib baik ade sorg pakcik kastam tu nampak aku ke hulu ke hilir dgn gelisahnye g check ape makcik tu x-ray lame sgt. Mase tu aku rase nak jerit n baling2 barang da tp aku sabarkan hati. Kang kene tahan sbb memberontak lg teruk jadinya. Yg bestnya tu ade file x-ray tulang aku mase 1st year sampai sini. Makcik tu siap kuarkan lg pastu bleh plak die tgk for a few minutes then die cakap "Ouh, u look healthy".

#&*@(*)#&%^$@##!@#!(@*#!~! Kau x tau ke aku ade flight nie~!!

"Erm, could u please be faster. I have a flight boarding at 4.15 and it's already 4.20" Aku x tau kali brape aku cakap nie.

"Sure, i'm doing as fast as i could"

%$^!%&@^*&@(*!&@(@&!~!

Nak dekat 4.30, pakcik tu da panggil, nasib die tlg aku masukkan balik brg2 dan tlg call bahagian airline suro tunggu. Kalau x mmg nak kene hempuk kot. Habis beg aku yg disusun elok2 jadi huru-hara.

"Did u find anything?"

"No, everything is okay. Thank u for ur time"

Thank u for my time? ^%#^*#*)(@#&@%$#@_(%%$#@!~!

Ade lg sorg makcik kastam bertimbang rasa bgtau aku arah mane aku kene lalu dgn cepatnya. Aku pun ape lg, lari tolak troli beg mcm dalam Amazing Race. Sume kat airport tgk aku, siap bg laluan yg x tahan tuh. Ape2 laa, asalkan aku x miss flight. Check barang pun tergesa-gesa. Mmg lari sungguh2 sampai ke garisan penamat! Alhamdulillah aku dapat naek flight dan akhirnya aku dapat duduk dgn tenang sambil tercungap-cungap kepenatan. Hilang rase lapar aku.

Setibanya di Welly, aku disambut oleh my beloved housemates. Cukup korum satu kete. Indahnya saat itu. Sampai rumah, aku menerima 2 hadiah birthday yg tidak disangka-sangka. Nak tau ape?

Tunggu for the next post. Lame sgt mengarang post kali nie. Haha.

Chow chin chow.